The Toi et Moi Engagement Ring — And Why Every Celebrity Wants One

The Toi et Moi Engagement Ring — And Why Every Celebrity Wants One Cover Photo
9 min read12 September 2023

Kylie Jenner has one. Ariana Grande has one. Heck. Even Megan Fox has one. The toi et moi engagement ring is making a comeback and celebrities are jumping on in droves. Translated from French to mean “you and me”, the two-stone engagement ring is definitely a statement piece. But can it be classic and unique? And will it stand the test of time? Here is all you need to know about what might just de-throne the oval solitaire diamond engagement ring.

Two is better than one

Twice the diamonds, twice the fun. Do we need to say anything more? Honestly though. Toi et moi are no longer what they used to be. In a bygone era, they were just two of the same-sized diamonds symbolising — you guessed it — you and me — two people coming together as one.

But the rulebook has been thrown out. We are seeing a new brand of the toi et moi. It features different shapes, different gemstones and different sizes. And if you like the idea of asymmetry, what better way to show it through a contrast between two different diamonds?

Toi et moi with a 2 carat yellow Asscher cut diamond and 1 carat round in a rose gold band

It’s more classic than you think

The first toi et moi ring is said to belong to the wife of Napoleon Bonaparte in 1796 — Josephine de Beauharnais. So yeah. Proper classical. Josephine’s ring featured one pear cut diamond and one pear-cut sapphire — both around 1 carat each. It might not sound like much, but it still fetched USD 950,000 in an auction in 2013! And he’s not the only classical person you would have studied in high school to propose with a toi et moi ring. John F Kennedy also proposed to Jackie Bouvier with a toi et moi in 1953. That engagement ring featured a 2.84 carat emerald cut emerald, and 2.88 carat emerald cut diamond with ten accenting diamond stones. JFK was not just a visionary with his presidency — but it seems with his sense of style too!

At toi et moi engagement ring featuring a 1 carat marquise diamond and 1.5 carat pear cut diamond in 14k yellow gold

And it’s definitely unique

Round diamond solitaires have been done to the point we know it like the back of our hands. Don’t get us wrong — we love a good Tiffany ring done interesting. But toi et moi — we love designing them because they are so much more fun. It speaks to so much more than two people coming together. It represents a duality that you can play on in terms of themes but also in terms of designs with prongs and bezels, straight lines and curves. The list goes on; and so does the number of permutations to make a toi et moi uniquely yours. And we are all about it.

Toi et moi engagement ring featuring a 1 carat red moissanite and 1 carat equivalent ruby in 14k rose gold

Play with different colours and gemstones to be the envy of all your friends

Very rarely do we see toi et moi engagement rings with the two diamonds or gemstones being exactly the same. More often than not, we see at least a different shape or gemstone. And this plays into the theme of making a toi et moi classic but uniquely yours.

The most common pairing we see is between two elongated cuts like emerald and pear-shaped, or oval and marquise.

We are also seeing one of the stones being a diamond, and the other being a sapphire or coloured moissanite. This literally plays into the idea of one half of the ring being classic and the other being unique. What we have noticed is that the coloured stone is typically his or hers birthstone.

Every relationship has a unique story and the toi et moi ring can start a conversation in a way that a round cut diamond solitaire can’t. And that will be the reason it will be the envy of all your friends.

Toi et moi engagement ring featuring a 1 carat red moissanite and a 1.5 pear cut equivalent carat blue sapphire

Be the trendsetter that you are

Toi et moi are becoming increasingly popular. But there are still so many combinations that we are yet to see. And with a number of celebrities jumping on the trend, it won’t be long before everyone wants one.

And to be fair, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. It is best rocked by those who feel confident in their own skin, are happy to be bold and start conversations. It is worn by celebrities for a reason.

But will it stand the test of time? We believe so. The toi et moi ring has been around for hundreds of years. And while it has not been the most popular style for over 300 odd years, which design has? So while it’s true that engagement ring trends come and go, it’s worth considering what you believe is timeless, and what you believe you will be excited to pass down in generations to come.

Toi et moi featuring a 1.5 carat pear cut diamond with an emerald cut sapphire in a 14K yellow gold band

Fashion crimes with the toi et moi to avoid

Don’t get us wrong. We love the toi et moi engagement ring. But there are a few things we rather you don’t.

First rule — don’t cheap out on a poor quality, or too small of a stone. At Four Words we recommend having the smallest stone of around 1 carat. We also recommend a minimum of VS1 clarity and G colour. All sound too confusing? At Four Words, we only choose the best diamonds that the eye can see — so you can focus on the design.

The second rule — symmetry is not that cute in a toi et moi. And while it works with three stone engagement rings, it just doesn’t slap in the same way. Toi et moi is your chance to be bold and different. We may or may not sway you to another design if you love the idea of symmetry. Drop us a line to find out if you are worthy of the toi et moi 😝

Third and final rule — take the advice of your jeweller when it comes to your band width. Going too thin on a toi et moi can compromise the structural integrity of your ring. It is the only component of the ring you need to be safe. In saying that, you can layer on the pavé — melee diamonds along a yellow gold, rose gold or platinum band.

Want to start your toi et moi ring journey with us?

At Four Words we only work with the best gemstones that the eye can see. Feel free to reach out to book in a time, or drop us a DM on Instagram if you have any questions.


What does a toi et moi ring mean?

Translated from French, toi et moi literally means ‘you and me’. Toi et moi engagement rings feature two stones that represent — you and me.

Are toi et moi rings good?

Toi et moi engagement rings are becoming increasingly popular with celebrities such as Megan Fox and Ariana Grande wearing them. In terms of if the rings are structurally good, it will depend on your designer and jeweller.

Are toi et moi rings the same shape?

Each toi et moi ring cane come in their own shape and size. For example, you could get a princess cut white diamond and baguette topaz side by side in a gold band whereas another engagement ring could feature completely different colours, shapes and stones. There can even be variations in how the ring is set — with bezels or prongs.

What does moi on a ring mean?

The “moi” in toi et moi means “me”. Toi et moi is French for “you and me."

Are toi et moi rings trendy?

Toi et moi engagement rings are becoming increasingly trendy. Fashioned by celebrities and known for their ability to hold large carat weights, they go well with elongated shapes such as the oval cut and pear shaped diamonds.

Who designed toi et moi rings?

It is difficult to know who designed the first toi et moi engagement ring. The first documented example is Napoleon Bonaparte proposing to Josephine de Beauharnais with a toi et moi in 1793. Today quite a few jewellers can design a toi et moi but it does take a specific taste to do so well. At Four Words we have done heaps of toi et moi featuring a wide range of stones such as lab grown diamonds, moissanites, sapphires, topaz, emeralds and aquamarines.

How does a toi et moi work with wedding rings?

At Four Words, we recommend you design your wedding band at the same time as you design your toi et moi engagement ring. This way you can get a flush finish no matter the final shape of your engagement ring. If you have already got your toi et moi engagement ring, then we can 3D scan it to ensure a flush finish.

When it comes to materials, we recommend either 14K or 18K yellow gold or rose gold. When it comes to white gold, we encourage our clients to consider platinum because there is no maintenance required over the lifetime of the ring. White gold needs to replated every few years.

How important is it to get the right ring size during the design process?

Getting the right ring size is a big deal when you are designing any engagement or wedding ring. If your engagement ring is too small, then widening it can add additional tension to the gemstones as it changes the shape of the ring. If your engagement ring is too big, then making it smaller can make the prongs loose. It also depends on the way in which your engagement ring is structured. For small changes, this is relatively easy.

It can get even more complicated if you have pavé diamonds running down the band.

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